147 – Hurting Others and Hating Your Job

Highlights from today’s show…

  1. Dr. Dave answers your questions and talks about hurting others and hating your job! 

Hi guys! Welcome to the show. It’s episode #147. This is the show where I help you live stronger, thinner, healthier, and happier. If you are a regular listener, you know the drill. You know I say that at the beginning of every show.  Because that’s what I do. I help you live a much better life. I have learned this over many many years. It’s called the David Madow Lifestyle and welcome you and I am so glad you are with me. If you are a new listener, we appreciate you life you wouldn’t believe. Become a regular and make sure you subscribe on iTunes. I am happy to serve. If I can help you in any way, just let me know. If you know my name, you know how to find me online (see below for links)

I’m in my outdoor studio, and remember noise seems to follow me. Noise always seems to find me. And I don’t know if that will ever change. So bear with me. I have a great show for you today.

Be sure to follow my LIVE daily broadcasts on Periscope at www.periscope.tv/davidmadow.

I have been very blessed to have such a wonderful following of people that listen to me podcast, The David Madow Lifestyle Show. They view my Periscope broadcasts every day and that hang with me on Facebook. Whatever it may be. I have so many friends and followers these days that I get messages by email or or Facebook messenger. And I think (and hope) that you appreciate the fact that I can’t always drop what I am doing to answer. It becomes a full time job and as you know I don’t charge anything for this. I do have a couple businesses. But it would be impossible for me to just sit at my computer and answer emails. Don’t get me wrong. I would love to do it. I love to help you but it’s just an impossibility. Occasionally, when I get questions and they start piling up, I tell people “hey, I can’t answer it by email right now but how about if I answer it on my podcast?” And pretty much 99% of the time they say that is fine. I do keep your privacy and don’t use real names. I don’t want to embarrass anyone or put someone’s problems out there. I wouldn’t do that. I always guarantee that I will keep it private and confidential. So I have some questions in front of me and I want to answer a few. I hope that I help not only the person who wrote in to ask the question but maybe if the situation applies to your life, it can help you too. 

So let’s get started!

Hurting Others

Question: “I am wondering if you have thoughts on how to be mindful of inner strength. And to remember when one makes a choice that is best for them, people may and unintentionally be hurt. How do you cope with the intentional pain that may be caused when they make a life changing decision that is best for them?” – Melissa

Answer: “Melissa, great question! So basically it sounds like Melissa is in the process of making or thinking about making some life changing decisions but she is concerned that her actions are going to hurt others. So my answer to Melissa is that. You have got to do what is best for Melissa. And if anybody is upset with your decision to change your life in some way than too bad. That’s the way it goes. I don’t know what you could be doing that other people would be so upset about your life. Why are other people so concerned about you? Sure they love you and care about you. But they have to respect the fact that you are doing this for you. Because you have thought about it and you have determined that it’s best for your life. If other people are upset with you or are complaining to you or whatever it may by, that is just the way it is. You have to go with what’s best for you in your heart. That’s not to say that you should make a decision that’s going to be bad for your kids or your spouse. You don’t want to make a change that’s actually going to hurt will hurt somebody in my family. But if it’s just someone who is saying Melissa, I don’t want you to do this. That’s crazy! Do what is best for you. Make sure it is well thought out. Are they paying your bills? Are they creating true happiness in your life? You’ve gotta do what’s best for you. I think one of the reasons that we don’t make changes in our lives is that they worry what their friends are going to think. What are my friends going to think of me? What are my neighbors going to think? I personally don’t care what other people think. I do what is best for me as long as I am not damaging other lives. If someone doesn’t like it. Too flipping bad!

Hating Your Job

Question: [Paraphrased] My husband and I are debt free with the exception of our home. My husband was recently laid off from his job of 25 years. With this job he was getting a lot of benefits including health insurance and other things like that. Now he is at another job and he is not getting any benefits. So to get benefits, I have to go back to work. I was working as a wellness coach and loved it! But I was not making any benefits there as well. So when my husband lost his job I went back to work as a nurse at the local hospital but I have lousy hours. I do not like my work and I do not get to see my husband since I work evenings and he works during the day. We only get to see each other two days a week. I cry everyday because I don’t know what to do and I hate what I do. My husband also wants to go back to school to finish his MBA so that he can get a better job in the marketplace. We are both 51 years old. What should I do?

Answer: “First of all I want to start off by saying I’m sorry that you are in this situation. But I think I can answer this for you. And congratulations on being almost debt free. The first thing I will tell you is that I recommend downsizing. I did this years ago and it has helped my life so much. You don’t need fancy cars, jewelry, and designer clothes, fancy vacations, country clubs, and things like that. Do only what you need to do. You can be happy without spending a lot of money. Downsize your life so that money is not a factor. Your husband going back for a MBA at 51, even though I know he is almost there, but I am not so sure that an MBA is going to make him more desirable in the workplace. If I were him I would look for something out in the marketplace that he loves. I’m not saying it’s simple but he could possibly find something good with benefits. For you Karen, I would not stay at the hospital with those hours. If you hate it, and your 51, and you have no debt except for your house, but you are only doing it to have health insurance there are other ways to get health insurance. You can find a PPO or something like that would be very affordable. I have found that it’s less expensive to pay out of my pocket so I don’t have a plan. I am not saying it’s cheap but there are inexpensive policies. Find other work and maybe go to being a wellness coach and spend good times with your husband every evening after work. I think with you being a nurse, you would easily be able to find work in a medical office or a dental office. You can certainly earn a nice income without having to work the night shift at a hospital. Let’s talk about money for a second because it seems like the main reason you are working a job that you can’t stand is because you need money. So you are going back to a job you hate just to get a benefit. I think you would be happier making a modest salary at say $35,000 a year. And with no debt except your home, I think you could do it. So I would start looking at leaving the job that is The David Madow Lifestyle. I just wouldn’t do it.

I hope these questions not only helped Melissa & Karen, but you too. A good broadcaster doesn’t only answer questions for the person asking but for the entire audience. And I hope my answers to Melissa and Karen helped some of you. That’s my goal.

If you have questions send them to me on Facebook or by email at dave@davidmadow.com. I am live on Periscope every morning around 8:20 am EST (depending on my travel schedule). You can interact with me and ask me questions right there as I am talking.

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